Thursday, May 06, 2010

Burdened and Blessed

Warning: This is a vent-get-things-off-my-chest-post. Don't read if you don't want to hear it. You have been warned.

I am feeling a bit burdened. The past few months have been rough ones for those around me. It all started with Tim's death. Not only did I feel that loss personally, but my heart has ached for Tim's family and for his very close friends. Other deaths have followed. Friends are facing serious health scares. I have been watching marriages (note the plural) fall apart. I am witnessing people I love being mistreated, and I am powerless to help. They don't even want my help. I have watched people falling apart and damaging those around them, and I am powerless to help. I am burdened with many secrets that have been placed in my trust, and my stomach hurts from keeping them inside. Don't ask me what is going on, because I can't tell you. I don't like not being authentic. It is affecting me. I feel physically drained from worrying about others. The crazy part of all of this is that I am in a very blessed time in my life. I am so blessed with a loving husband who also happens to be a fantastic father. I read This article about a husband's love, and it resonated with me. I feel loved like that. I feel incredibly blessed with my delightful boys, and I love being their mother. There are exciting changes going on with my work. My life is pretty good right now, but I am struggling to keep other's burdens from banishing my blessings.

We now return to regularly scheduled pictures of 4 cute boys :)

5 comments:

Kelli said...

If you start backstabbing people, no one will share their secrets with you anymore. HA Ha... totally kidding. Just had to make you laugh inappropriately for a minute. You are a great friend to all, and that makes you the go to person for advice and sounding boards. That is a blessing that God gave you such empathy and love in your heart for others. It's hard though, and I'll be praying for you to continue to be that friend, but still be able to relish all the amazing things you have in your life. Thanks for meeting me for lunch. I loved it. Kelli

Charlotte said...

You are just too good of a friend, therefore your friends feel like they can go to you in time of troubles. Sometimes knowing others burdens make me feel more blessed and thankful for the smaller problems in my life. Love you bunches!! You are the BEST sis-in-law!!!

Andrea said...

I'm praying for peace for your heart and for a good night's sleep for you, dear one. It's so hard to not dwell on things. I struggle with it too.

See-Dub said...

Oh, Jenna. You know, it seems like the whole world shifted on its axis when Tim died. It's hard to tell if we truly are enduring more crises in the months since or if it just seems that way because we're just not emotionally strong enough to cope with them yet. Hmmm...

I'm sorry you're carrying so many burdens right now, but I thank God for your sweet spirit that's willing to take on those secrets. You are a phenomenal friend! Please know that I'm here for you, anytime you need to blow off steam.

Love you! I am praying for you—and your troubled friends—to find some peace.

stacey said...

hang in there friend!