Saturday, January 16, 2010

She's Got Personality

Since I have made a resolution to be more bold this year, I have decided to write some about adoption. I will start with a pretty tame post. If I work up the courage, then I MAY share more about my story and my feelings. I may even throw in a few photos. We shall see.

Here is the disclaimer: Adoption is a very emotional issue for many people, and people have varied opinions and experiences with adoption. This blog expresses my opinions and my experiences. I do not claim to speak for all adoptees. I do not claim to know it all. I welcome people who kindly disagree with my thoughts and experience and also those who would like to share their own. I would also like to state for the record that I am adopted. I have never regretted this fact and feel very blessed by my family. I have no confusion over who is my family, and I have no regrets about being placed for adoption.

I grew up in a 2-parent family with an older brother, a younger brother, and a little sister. I don't remember being told that I was adopted; I just always knew it. My older brother is also adopted. Physically, I did not look like my siblings, but that never bothered me. Especially since I was the cute one (only kidding). One thing that I did think about was about how different our personalities were. Growing up, I came to the conclusion that it was because nature mattered more than nurture when it came to personality traits. I knew that nurture definitely played a role, but I felt that nature played the greater role. In 1995, I had the opportunity to meet biological family members. Unfortunately, I would never be able to meet my birthmother, June, because she died in 1977. That is a story that deserves its own blog post some day. Meeting biological family members was a great gift to me in many, many ways. One of the gifts was that they gave me a sense of June's personality. I always assumed that we would share many personality traits. The more I learned about June's personality, the more I realized how radically different our personalities are. Most people would probably describe me as quiet, easy-going, and a rule follower (please correct me if I am wrong). June was not. She was a bit of a party girl. Funny, fun-loving, outgoing, and bubbly are all words that would describe her personality. Even her handwriting was opposite of mine. She has that round, bubbly style of writing. It seems that my nature versus nurture personality theory was wrong, wrong, wrong. Of course, my personality traits could come from my birthfather but that is also another post for another time. I am blessed to know my biological brother (also another post for another time), and we do share many personality traits. Later, I started having children and couldn't seem to stop having them! We finally stopped after 4 boys, and I learned a little more about personality. My boys have very different personalities from each other. They do share some traits with each other, but they are most definitely individuals. I have decided to stop trying to figure it out. At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. I love my family because of and in spite of their personalities. I love my boys because of and in spite of their personalities. I love my biological family members because of and in spite of their personalities. I hope that I am loved by them regardless of my personality.

Now to hit publish before I chicken out. I am not even going to read over it, so please forgive any mistakes.


Lori said...

I think it's so great that you are sharing your story :-) Adoption is beautiful

Shawna said...

This is absolutely wonderful. Thank you for sharing part of your story and I look forward to reading more when you get a chance.

Andrea said...

I also look forward to reading more about you, Ms. Personality. I don't know where you got your YOU, but regardless, you are amazing, funny, kind-hearted, smart, and one of my heroes. I love ya!

stacey said...

transparency can feel really good sometimes! i will love hearing more!

Krista said...

Jenna, I am just now catching up on all of my favorite blogs! I especially loved this post & I look forward to reading more. I've always loved you for being YOU! I still remember the first time I met you . . . the first day of CBH, we were all young girls, moving into our home (cabin) away from home for the week; that seems like forever ago . . . okay, well . . . maybe it was! ;-) Love you girl! =)