Sunday, February 27, 2011
Phone Pictures - Christmas in Abilene
Some high quality phone pictures from our time in Abilene celebrating with Mark's family
Cute treats my mother-in-law made
That Trent is a nut
Nate adores his cousin, Lee
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
A Few Random Phone Pictures
Museum
Another random Monday where the boys didn't have school but Nate had museum school. I accidentally left my long lens on the camera, so the pictures are few and not the best quality. The boys had fun (especially Cade). Check out the giant lite-brite in the back! I wanted to play with that.
More Basketball
We have watched a lot of this the past few months. I'm not going to lie, a lot of it was PAINFUL. I think I better not type anything else.
Straight From Nate
Riding past a beautiful old cemetery, Nate notices that it looks different than the other buildings all around.
"What is that?"
"That is a cemetery. When someone dies, then sometimes their family will bury their body there. The family will then have a place to go and remember that person and think about that person."
"But what about zombies?"
"What is that?"
"That is a cemetery. When someone dies, then sometimes their family will bury their body there. The family will then have a place to go and remember that person and think about that person."
"But what about zombies?"
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
Final Christmas Post
Monday, January 31, 2011
Mommy Guilt Monday - Dream Daughter
Important Note: I love my boys with my every ounce of my heart and soul and would not trade a single one of them. Carry on...
Driving home from work, I was listening to a Pandora station that was nailing my mood perfectly. Out of nowhere, a song from "The Little Mermaid" popped up. Tears started streaming down my face. You know the song, "Look at this stuff. Isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collection's complete? Wouldn't you think I'm a girl, a girl with everything.....I want more." Why would that song trigger me?
From the time I was very young, I knew that I wanted to be a mom. Not an unusual dream for a little girl. I dreamed of having a lot of kids, at LEAST 4. Most importantly, I dreamed of having a daughter. Well, dreamed is not quite the right word. I knew that I would have a daughter. It was a given. I grew older, and the dream didn't change. Lots of kids, including a daughter. I read the "Little House on the Prairie" series and fell in love with Anne Shirley. Someday, I would share these loves with my daughter. I grew older, but I didn't grow out of my dream. Still wanted lots of kids, including a daughter. I played the MASH game (kids of the 80's, you know what I am talking about), and it didn't matter to me what dream guy I got (crush of the month, Kirk Cameron, or Jason Bateman were often on the list). I just wanted the highest number of kids. Still wanted lots of kids, including a daughter. I went to college, and the dream remained the same. I was lucky enough to meet a great guy. The dream was beginning to feel like it was going to be my reality. I just needed to convince Mark that my dream was a good dream ;-) Lots of kids, including a daughter. We married, and my dream remained. The day I found out I was pregnant was the beginning of the dream come true. I was so happy. I dreamed of tea parties, kitchen sets, and dolls. I envisioned ballet classes, gymnastics, and glitter. I pictured girl dress up clothes, plastic crowns, and doll houses. And the clothes.....the cute girl clothes, and bows, and SHOES. Before we even knew the gender, I bought one item of clothing....the cutest little dress. I dreamed of my daughter wearing it. I finally got rid of that dress for obvious reasons. Every pregnancy, I just knew it was a girl. I wasn't worried after the first 2, because I knew I had at least one more shot. After the 3rd, I was so afraid that Mark would not want another. After the 4th...........
Here's the deal, I LOVE my boys. LOVE them. Would not trade a single one of them. Cannot imagine life without them. But, my heart still aches for that dream girl. I can handle the fact that I don't have a girl right now, but what breaks my heart is that I WON'T have a girl, EVER. That dream is dead. I feel incredibly selfish, greedy, and guilty for grieving this. My boys bring me so much joy. I am so blessed to have them. I see the pain that families go through when they are not able to have a child, or they are only able to have one. They would give anything to have my problem. Seriously, what do I have to complain about? I have 4 of the best boys ever, and I feel that it isn't enough. My head gets this, but my heart.....my heart aches for my daughter, my dream daughter. I don't know how to fix this. I keep expecting it to get better, but it just keeps getting worse, probably because I am hyper aware of how quickly Chase is growing up (4 1/2 years until he is 18, 18 people!) and because my sweet baby starts kindergarten this year (you might want to avoid me in August). Please don't tell me that someday I will probably have granddaughters and daughter-in-laws, it doesn't help me. Telling me that I won't have to worry about paying for a wedding just reminds me that I will never be able to plan a wedding with my daughter. It will be fine, I know it will be. I still have my sweet and smelly boys, and the joy they bring greatly outweighs the grief. Maybe I will get a cat....a FEMALE one.
Driving home from work, I was listening to a Pandora station that was nailing my mood perfectly. Out of nowhere, a song from "The Little Mermaid" popped up. Tears started streaming down my face. You know the song, "Look at this stuff. Isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collection's complete? Wouldn't you think I'm a girl, a girl with everything.....I want more." Why would that song trigger me?
From the time I was very young, I knew that I wanted to be a mom. Not an unusual dream for a little girl. I dreamed of having a lot of kids, at LEAST 4. Most importantly, I dreamed of having a daughter. Well, dreamed is not quite the right word. I knew that I would have a daughter. It was a given. I grew older, and the dream didn't change. Lots of kids, including a daughter. I read the "Little House on the Prairie" series and fell in love with Anne Shirley. Someday, I would share these loves with my daughter. I grew older, but I didn't grow out of my dream. Still wanted lots of kids, including a daughter. I played the MASH game (kids of the 80's, you know what I am talking about), and it didn't matter to me what dream guy I got (crush of the month, Kirk Cameron, or Jason Bateman were often on the list). I just wanted the highest number of kids. Still wanted lots of kids, including a daughter. I went to college, and the dream remained the same. I was lucky enough to meet a great guy. The dream was beginning to feel like it was going to be my reality. I just needed to convince Mark that my dream was a good dream ;-) Lots of kids, including a daughter. We married, and my dream remained. The day I found out I was pregnant was the beginning of the dream come true. I was so happy. I dreamed of tea parties, kitchen sets, and dolls. I envisioned ballet classes, gymnastics, and glitter. I pictured girl dress up clothes, plastic crowns, and doll houses. And the clothes.....the cute girl clothes, and bows, and SHOES. Before we even knew the gender, I bought one item of clothing....the cutest little dress. I dreamed of my daughter wearing it. I finally got rid of that dress for obvious reasons. Every pregnancy, I just knew it was a girl. I wasn't worried after the first 2, because I knew I had at least one more shot. After the 3rd, I was so afraid that Mark would not want another. After the 4th...........
Here's the deal, I LOVE my boys. LOVE them. Would not trade a single one of them. Cannot imagine life without them. But, my heart still aches for that dream girl. I can handle the fact that I don't have a girl right now, but what breaks my heart is that I WON'T have a girl, EVER. That dream is dead. I feel incredibly selfish, greedy, and guilty for grieving this. My boys bring me so much joy. I am so blessed to have them. I see the pain that families go through when they are not able to have a child, or they are only able to have one. They would give anything to have my problem. Seriously, what do I have to complain about? I have 4 of the best boys ever, and I feel that it isn't enough. My head gets this, but my heart.....my heart aches for my daughter, my dream daughter. I don't know how to fix this. I keep expecting it to get better, but it just keeps getting worse, probably because I am hyper aware of how quickly Chase is growing up (4 1/2 years until he is 18, 18 people!) and because my sweet baby starts kindergarten this year (you might want to avoid me in August). Please don't tell me that someday I will probably have granddaughters and daughter-in-laws, it doesn't help me. Telling me that I won't have to worry about paying for a wedding just reminds me that I will never be able to plan a wedding with my daughter. It will be fine, I know it will be. I still have my sweet and smelly boys, and the joy they bring greatly outweighs the grief. Maybe I will get a cat....a FEMALE one.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Santa's Visit - 2010
Barely squeaking this post in before FEBRUARY - Will I ever catch up on the blog?
Chase must have been very, very good this year since Santa actually delivered an XBox
Cade's loot
Dylan's stack
Nate's goodies - anyone notice a theme with Nate's stuff?
Dylan's fave was the fishing book
Friday, January 21, 2011
Christmas Eve Loot
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